stretched like the very dough that your favorite pizza toppings lay upon


eye, too, have been pulled.


my skin is not dough.

eye am not a personal pan.

delectably designed at your very command,



                                                                                                                            my dear,

          that stretch ached me.

        & eye am no elastic.

my mind is fantastic with thoughts that length beyond gripping torso.

eye grow bold for more to know than what hands hold.

money goals the glow up but,

eye just wanted to show up.

eye mean,

eye always show up.

…..like you knew eye would.




maybe you were high from such elasticity of stretched seconds.


you allowed me to show up every time to your hunch and punch to the chest.


have you ever been out of breath?

hanging on the cliff of falling,

…eye was on the leading edge of a thought that was never escaped

                                          eye met a fate, that mistaken me not for a facade.  

                                                                                   my god felt me fall into his hand,

                                                                                                             elastically drained.

eye still try to figure out why, what, and who but my skin has been attempted stiff waiting to know how and when…

but then again,

why the fuck am eye even stuck?


eye forgot that eye am not elastic.

eye am conceived of calcified bones


my heart and soul is.


that my friend is an abuse of the willing heart

you can not spell art without the gap and eye almost forgot what art was, fucking around with elastic.

sometimes it is best to keep things where they are.

far.strange. and apart.




the angels-the verbs

not necessarily  on the path seeking answers.

eye seek to know myself

eye do not stray from the concept on the collective

eye just strive to be help.


time estimates the year before but nothing before grand wisdom

aspirations to seek that we know the color

………..of the hue


eye am.

eye sit and listen to the stars


these walls.

all this power.

you could not think to stalk


try not to dwell.

not any different

but differently self.

-the water

the reign


inbetween the lines.

a fork in the heart

the wind in the road


the connection of eye love amour

to give me more like candies on a wednesday church service in memphis.

eye do not want to be bored

eye am not board

eye am just looking for a more thats better than good.

release from sorry for this no one

eye heard on the first day there was an atom.

eye had to see for myself.

a whimsical of words,

the angels-the verbs

naked wooah-man

check her out.

was she thick as hell because she wears fabrics now.

was her skin as mumbled as mine?

was her age before time

man came from wo-man

man make the mama.


eye have had 21 thankful summers

finding the verb that fits like a spring that doesn’t bounce back.

fall on the win

eye enter.

but ,

eye sun on d-eeper

eye conquer quick sand

yet, eye seek for earth



the heavens

eye air nothing at all thats false.

eye say nothing at all.

body whispers and fade away to rebirth.

come back again confirmed

destroy the hour that took away.

you took my breath away with no words left

but starting 2


the lonely day is over.

cold not on shoulders.

eye feel on win

eye enter.

eye just want to know backward to seek after the maybe




that is talk of self

over at 3 am while spirit


the hour that eye do not shy from

hour could have you a moor

….eye guess


eye am awake.













eye stuck my hands under scolding hot water to see if eye could withstand.

although my hands are still red,

eye can type up my first, second, and maybe 3rd obituary without a hesitation.

some of you may be impressed but, to say, the least eye am the most unimpressed.

volition|false impressions.

eyelashes often bat toward my direction contrary to the feelings that, pursue me alone.


who am eye to settle; just as who am eye to judge myself as if eye am not eye attraction?

eye was never in it to be seen, with ambitions solely on anesthesiology, behind the scenes .the quest to the half a million dollar or more salary was absolutely professional enough for me.

until eye had ran into a wardrobe situation one day with my ex-fiance, that stated eye wasn’t professional enough.

at least to “their” standards.

not saying, she was wrong nor wanted to cause me harm but; even now eye doubt she realized how eye disassembled myself from a comfort that eye wasn’t all too comfortable with.

volition|false assumptions

this skin, eye never even recalled asking to own.

although spiritually before the form of what eye know now…..maybe eye did.

……eye know thats deep af!!

but, eye am in the bottom of the sink with some shit.

right by the plunger

volition|the sink

my hands are not red anymore from the scolding hot water but red from the drawback after eye realized that my hands had been bitten.

eye firmly believe that palms hold the soul.

and there is blood and teethmarks here in a place where they don’t deserve.

although invisible to the arms that hold.

people we fuck with the most will try to shit on you.

excuse my french.

people we love the most will shit on you.


bitch eye am not a fucking toilet seat.

ole constipated ass bih

have a seat on the most undeserving seat to the left.

withcho stank ass

but look,

eye just hope you read it with the understanding impression that eye meant it.

yours truly

back to the topic


as far as kindness goes,

eye consider myself a kindly inquisitive soul.

eye see everything and eye have no issue holding others accountable for their intent but eye always aim to be respectful.

sadly though,

eye have often bitten my tongue in the attempt to save my own faces.


everyone’s intent doesn’t match their respect.

sadly enough,

the one that usually gets the shit end of the stick is the one that usually sacrifices the most.


you will always hear me say “eye just show up and eye show up with gifts”

emotionally though,

eye am the giver that ends up being giftless with the red bitten hands,

next time they may be frost bitten but eye am not cold.


emotionally though…how is it that we invest in people or energy that just grow our bones chilly when we are warm bodied mammals?

this enamel that we are coated with,

underneath the skin.

as eye lift up my shirt*

looks at chest like a toddler*

do you have a heart?

   because ,

this here hurts .


eye won’t go backwards,

my 2nd obituary mentioned that eye died of a heart attack and the only leaving relative was a dog.

eye moved on.

nothing special but here my hands are red,seemingly letting me know that eye am alive again.

eye died for life this time.

eye walked out because my shell was too small, like the cancer ascendant that eye am but eye do not stray.

eye left because eye didn’t want to leave sight of the same misunderstanding that caused this bite.

can eye be vegetarian with you or nah?

    thinking the issue was me,eye was cast into my own spell of


silence the scene.

snippet being that scene snipped me from not wanting to look back.

in film capital but eye am no actor.

this, my dear,is real.

real life simple.

how is it that eye can look into your eyes and feel your points, but you cannot even look into my left mind from the right brain of what you thought you knew?

eye am sane

you insane



most eye love you ever,back stabbing ,done laughing, transaction catastrophe looking ass wanna be queen.

eye walked away because .the duty was too expensive for the job.

been freelance for 3 years.


it is not that simple of a situation to go backwards to apply for manmade career over ambition.

that’s like choosing obama over trump

quality bruh.

it is simple.

eye was done rambling with my well-spoken ass.

eye was tired of talking into a feeling that eye know was going unheard.


when you have your mind made up prior to listening, the shutters on your ears are closed.

eye swallowed my fears when eye walked out the door to the place eye still held keys too.

eye left everything just so you could know eye don’t want you nor eye to settle.

eye even thought about you every day after, as you spoke ill of me to people who only saw you sulk in your pity but my blasphemy.

volition|the note

did you see the letter eye wrote?

it was invisible, but left an aroma to let you know that eye always had your soul?


eye guess not , or you wouldn’t have left me on that road with nothing but the soul that you didn’t know eye had in the hand you left red.

eye left go of it like a balloon.


eye hope it finds you because eye know you never will.


Eye Died,Again

eye felt like eye was dying,
with my eyes wide open shut.

time slowing.

lost focus and grip from the feeling of not knowing.
looking into the sky that evening,
eye thought the configuration of the stars was telling me what it was…or,

maybe it was


but just because,

volition|”HERE EYE AM”

that night eye looked into the soul of an evil flow that eye never quite seen before but, eye had saw everything for her.

(you do not want to know her)


“you did this to yourself”
“your sound is too loud and intense”
“you’re so foolish”
“how could you do this?”

did eye just stand too tall for myself?
am eye really feeling what eye felt?
is this a dream?
are we compatible because it felt like we really were a team.
how is this happening?

my sound is lowering now…


did the words she just spoke really come from her mouth?

it is happening now.
and eye will never back down!!


eye saw her throw me into the dark water of my own imagination.
the remains of me ,she buried under the cement behind a tree.
no one seen shit, and it is hard to tell that eye am even gone.

until the smell comes then you have to ask,
“what have eye done?”

she was a captain that allowed me to lead.
but the captain could not read nor lower her speed.
we got to a destination but the story is now incomplete.
and your judgment is her subject, but
my objective to deal with.

bitch my life is not a game.


what a shame that eye sit and wait wondering about your day…
you are a mess now.
and you’ll never see another queen step down to feed crumbs to a peasant from this thrown.
not over might,

but eye put that on my life.
eye will look you in your eye and you will see no light from eye besides me walk away.


Vulnerability -What is it?



What is it?

I could give the Oxford Dictionary Edition ,

Yes, Absoul-lutely!!

or ,

I could give you the exposed heart that seemingly, the society that we are amongst, loves to see bleed and ache for feeding purposes.

Petty Pen·de·jo(s)…...ugh!!

To be vulnerable, is often a fear  due to the lack of empathy that is shared within our society between friends,family,and/or strangers .Especially,when the (potentially sensitive)message shared can be taken and flipped to be used in a harmful nature.

and, it happens sadly all too often.

making us want to crawl into nothingness, with no one and nothing—-not even our own personal thoughts,just a pizza and a “GET THE F**K OUT The Way” until I feel like seeing a light.


Didn’t I say that like I’ve been there before?


Wouldn’t be human if I had not

but on the same accord,

I can exclaim out loud now:






I could tell you that I have lived feeling prisoned within the skin that I am in.

I grew up living in a household where I withstood abuse.

and, unfortunately,

it was physical.


you know what hurt the most?

the mental harassment endured from ones that I expected and gave love too.

not only from ‘him’ or ‘them‘  but me.


I wasn’t even able to look at myself in the mirror until I was 19 years of age.



I use to abuse myself. For years, you could’ve easily caught me saying “WHAT THE F**K IS LOVE?”

Mental, Emotional, Physical|Sexual (But, we will go into that on a later post)

Rude to myself I was,

thinking ….blaming….everyone but me.

& that is OK.

I learned forgiveness before I plunged the misconstrued definition of “love” that was fed, out of my system.

∇ Rebooted Δ 


I learned how to recognize beauty before love though.

I mean,

It was a process that took years, even still, it always needs maintenance!

Repeat after Me:




Accepting certain issues in my life though, was tough.

Literally staring darkness into its eyes and sayingOK, ARE YOU GOING TO BE NICE NOW?”

Fuck NO…ha!

but a light was shined upon.


Now I can share without judgment, giving empathy and understanding.


because my young ass has lived a life and seen a life enough to share what it means to be alive.

To inspire and to show that with your one mind, balanced, that there are many roads.

and, everyone needs a hand to help guide them there without bias blase bs.

We have enough saturation in the world of hate, disgust, and plain out misery for the next but when you become the change you aim to see, you focus on betterment for yourself as well as the next.


Vulnerability Preface Introduction